THE COMMITTEE FOR THE RESOLUTION OF UNRESOLVED MINOR BUSINESS

Terms of service

  1. What this is. The Committee for the Resolution of Unresolved Minor Business ("the Committee", "CRUMB") is a satirical entertainment service operated by Finifunda (Pty) Ltd, registered in South Africa ("we", "us"). Rulings are works of fiction. Nothing on this site is advice of any kind: not legal, financial, medical, psychological, or otherwise. Decisions about your life are yours.
  2. How rulings are made. Rulings are generated by a language model (artificial intelligence) performing characters and rules authored by the site's operator. No human reviews individual rulings before delivery.
  3. Age. You must be 16 or older to use this service. If you are under 18, you confirm a parent or guardian has permitted you to use this service and to make purchases on it.
  4. Fees. The filing fee is due on filing and is retained whenever the Committee deliberates, including when a filing is struck, declined, or refused a rehearing. A struck filing is a ruled filing.
  5. Refunds. If our systems decline to process your filing entirely (for safety or content reasons), you are refunded in full and no document is produced.
  6. One ruling per filing. Every processed filing receives one ruling. We do not re-run deliberations because you disagree with the outcome; disagreement with a satirical verdict is not a defect. Your statutory rights regarding genuinely defective services are unaffected.
  7. Your filings and your data. Filings are linked by email address to maintain your filing history under a pseudonymous Petitioner Number and to enforce the resubmission rule. Rulings are private to the holder of the case number; the public verification page shows case metadata (date, panel, outcome, notations) and never your filing text. Filing text is processed by our technology provider to generate your ruling. Aggregate statistics never include filing content. You may request deletion of your data at any time by email to hello@crumbcommittee.org. Details in the Privacy Policy.
  8. Content rules. Do not submit other people's personal information, unlawful content, or attempts to manipulate the system. Some matters are outside what the Committee will deliberate at all: matters of religious faith; matters involving danger or harm to you or anyone else; and any romantic or sexual matter involving a person under 18. Filings raising these are declined before payment where our screening catches them, and refunded in full where it does not (clause 5). Genuinely serious matters (medical, legal, custody, livelihood-scale finance) are declined respectfully rather than joked about; that declination follows deliberation, so the fee is retained (clause 4). We may decline or strike other filings that breach these rules.
  9. Intellectual property. The Committee, including its name, seal, characters, charter, document formats, and all site content, is protected by copyright and trademark law and is the exclusive property of the operator. Your ruling is licensed to you to keep, print, post, and share for personal, non-commercial purposes. Reproducing the seal, creating imitation Committee documents, or producing Committee merchandise is prohibited.
  10. Filing Books. A Filing Book is a bearer voucher: a set of filing stamps issued under a single book number, and whoever holds the number holds the stamps. We cannot replace lost or shared numbers. Stamps have no cash value and are redeemable only against filings.
  11. Service. We may modify, suspend, or discontinue the service, and may refuse service where these terms are breached. Purchased Filing Book stamps will be honored or refunded if the service is discontinued.
  12. Liability. The service is provided as-is for entertainment. To the extent permitted by law, we are not liable for decisions you make after reading a work of fiction. Nothing in these terms limits liability that cannot lawfully be limited, or your statutory consumer rights.
  13. Payments. Your purchase is processed by Lemon Squeezy, LLC as merchant of record; the transaction is with them and their terms and privacy policy govern it.
  14. Governing law. These terms are governed by the laws of the Republic of South Africa, where the operator is based, and you agree to the non-exclusive jurisdiction of the South African courts. This does not deprive you of the mandatory consumer protections of the country where you live, which continue to apply.